he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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