After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
