drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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