Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
