i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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