i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
