using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
