i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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