my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
