Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
This is my gift to your gina
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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