how can u be prego again
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
