take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
