Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
