yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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