worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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