At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
