once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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