Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I just found puke in my bra..
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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