you traded sex for a burrito?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
