I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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