its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
