Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
