I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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