just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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