Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
