Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
