my soul wont recognize me after tonight
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
