break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i wish my penis had a tongue
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
