watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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