She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
