Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
