This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
