You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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