don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
