just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
