Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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