My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
