I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
