What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
