I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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