There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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