She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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