tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Randomize
