It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
