i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
