Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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