I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
