dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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