So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
