Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
