Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Pants are for mortals
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
